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Love and Respect in Marriage PDF Print E-mail
‘And among His signs is that He created for you mates … and He has put love and mercy between you…’ (Qur’aan 30:21) How many marriages have that love and mercy?

A man's primary need is for respect, while a woman's primary need is for love. A ‘crazy cycle’ results when the wife does not show respect and the husband does not show love. When a wife feels her husband is unloving, she often reacts with disrespect, which in turn makes the husband act even more unloving. The solution is for the wife to show unconditional respect to her husband and for the husband to show unconditional love to his wife without waiting for the other to change first. In the Qur’aan and Hadith, there are possibly no two concepts more stressed with regards to marital relationships than love and respect.

For men: ‘Take good care of women…’ (Bukhari) Qur’aan says: ‘Live with them in kindness and equity. (4:19) ‘...the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.’ (Tirmidhi) Men are urged to be kind and loving towards wives.

For women: Many men complain their wives do not respect them. This sentiment is stressed in Islam with regards to wives. Respect of a person in authority means doing what they say: ‘When any woman prays her five salaah, fasts her month, guards her body and obeys her husband, it is said to her: Enter paradise from whichever of its doors you wish.’ (Tirmidhi) The more respect a woman shows her husband, the more love he will show her.

Adapted from article by: Yasmin Mogahed

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